hello, lonely craving mess of a thing comming thru
Sept 2, 2013 16:49:14 GMT -5
secretofthecrow likes this
Post by redlines on Sept 2, 2013 16:49:14 GMT -5
um i was late at awakening but i have all my life been a strong empath, i used to cut myself all my childhood for the taste and during my teenage years you could not give me enough rare steak, i used to cut with a friend but he was another guy and very homophobic and most likely would have called me mental if i told him just how d**n much i wanted that blood but i just thought i was mentally ill at the time.
without the internets help and a lot of weird dreams and cravings beyond that of even morphine (of which i have been an addict) i worked out what i was, my parents just had to accept it, although it hasn't been easy from when i can remember till i got a blackbelt at 14 in shotokan karate i was severely bullied, ive always had what one lover described as 'porcelain-esque skin' and my parents had to bar me from all summer out door PEA or 'gym' class at school due to the fact i get heat stroke in a hat and sunglasses just walking in about 15 minutes, my gran was very religious and tried to beat the evil out of me till i could speak properly enough to tell my parents then at school i was bullied for all my oddities
i can distance heal since childhood, i COULD psy-vamp simply by turning my distance healing the other way but not many want to as one guy said 'feel like ive been hit by a train' at a distance without the in person empathetic bond between donor and vamp, my family know i think my dad thinks its a sexual thing my mum's far more open minded and has a bit of empath in her so she
um haven't had any blood in ages, I'm having hot and cold flashes, you guys get that? also my pain threshold is very low and im finding it hard to heal from things, i have a shoulder injury that just wont heal, the doctor said this should have gone in a week, im sure if i fed it'd get better, i am in a seriously backwards country town in the fens in England, its like the shire out of LOTR honest to god you hear more horses hooves than cars.
i have a local butcher that does me very very fresh cows blood that i thicken up a bit and warm up at home, that takes a slight edge off the cravings but everyone in this village is starting to look very appetizing, a guy cut his finger in Tesco the other day i nearly lost it, i have poor impulse control, Ive had so many addictions i'm a little scared to be honest, this isn't Buffy you cant grab n slash someone!
you wont find a donor for 60 miles from here :'-(
i swear not one alternative hairstyle even in this town I'm honestly close to breaking point i saw a black swan forum on Google but this areas sparse for just meeting for dates let alone donors of blood theres Cambridge but ironically the only willing donors there are hookers who of course will have blood borne pathogens or wont get tested to prove it so i cant feed on them anyhow!
im not talking high class escorts im talking track marks and hoodies.
i do hear of ultra zealous Christians attacking sangs so i don't wear nor can i afford all the gothy stereotype stuff, some of it looks sexy on the ladies i admit though, i write 'sang' on my arm so its visible at all times round my village, only someone in the know would get it so...might as well...although its a tiny village with 1 pub a FOUR churches, don't you find that just a wee bit strange?
anyhow that's my situation and my story at the moment, patchy at best but i can only think of one thing at the moment
without the internets help and a lot of weird dreams and cravings beyond that of even morphine (of which i have been an addict) i worked out what i was, my parents just had to accept it, although it hasn't been easy from when i can remember till i got a blackbelt at 14 in shotokan karate i was severely bullied, ive always had what one lover described as 'porcelain-esque skin' and my parents had to bar me from all summer out door PEA or 'gym' class at school due to the fact i get heat stroke in a hat and sunglasses just walking in about 15 minutes, my gran was very religious and tried to beat the evil out of me till i could speak properly enough to tell my parents then at school i was bullied for all my oddities
i can distance heal since childhood, i COULD psy-vamp simply by turning my distance healing the other way but not many want to as one guy said 'feel like ive been hit by a train' at a distance without the in person empathetic bond between donor and vamp, my family know i think my dad thinks its a sexual thing my mum's far more open minded and has a bit of empath in her so she
um haven't had any blood in ages, I'm having hot and cold flashes, you guys get that? also my pain threshold is very low and im finding it hard to heal from things, i have a shoulder injury that just wont heal, the doctor said this should have gone in a week, im sure if i fed it'd get better, i am in a seriously backwards country town in the fens in England, its like the shire out of LOTR honest to god you hear more horses hooves than cars.
i have a local butcher that does me very very fresh cows blood that i thicken up a bit and warm up at home, that takes a slight edge off the cravings but everyone in this village is starting to look very appetizing, a guy cut his finger in Tesco the other day i nearly lost it, i have poor impulse control, Ive had so many addictions i'm a little scared to be honest, this isn't Buffy you cant grab n slash someone!
you wont find a donor for 60 miles from here :'-(
i swear not one alternative hairstyle even in this town I'm honestly close to breaking point i saw a black swan forum on Google but this areas sparse for just meeting for dates let alone donors of blood theres Cambridge but ironically the only willing donors there are hookers who of course will have blood borne pathogens or wont get tested to prove it so i cant feed on them anyhow!
im not talking high class escorts im talking track marks and hoodies.
i do hear of ultra zealous Christians attacking sangs so i don't wear nor can i afford all the gothy stereotype stuff, some of it looks sexy on the ladies i admit though, i write 'sang' on my arm so its visible at all times round my village, only someone in the know would get it so...might as well...although its a tiny village with 1 pub a FOUR churches, don't you find that just a wee bit strange?
anyhow that's my situation and my story at the moment, patchy at best but i can only think of one thing at the moment
